LYCE IN THE REFEREE'S HAIR... (Refereeing a lads' game some years ago...)

 Lyce in the Referee's Hair…

25 years ago my son Jamie's Under 10 team, Shirley Town Colts, played in a cup-tie on a cold January day against Chelmsley Ravens. 

Chelmsley Wood estate was built as an overspill area for the areas of Birmingham which were to be rebuilt after World War II. I guess the estate has always suffered from an infamous reputation, however. 

Shirley Town had drawn the away league encounter 2-2, on Chelmsley Town's ground before Christmas and because this cup-tie was at home, I was to be the referee. We had lost our skilful forward Joel just previous to the turn of the year, poached by rivals Shenley Radford, where Jamie was soon to finish up as a player too. We were therefore lightweight in attack and it was always going to be a tough and close game. 

The Ravens' manager was a Brummie, loud and long-haired who referred to a throw-in as a 'chuck’. His eleven-player squad included a huge, ten year old goalie called 'Edge: ('Hedgehog', I presume), plus a short lad called Stumpy, also Squirrel, Woody, Robbo, Jonno and Lyce. (Don't ask…) 

Lyce was the captain and was, I would say, hard. When fouled in a pre-season friendly, his manager had advised him to forget about the incident but “…kick him back later...” 

Oddly, there was little problem in refereeing the match during a well contested first-half, with just one warning for Lyce when he scythed an opponent down from behind, some ten seconds after I had already blown for a free-kick against his team. 

Shirley had also missed a penalty, the shot going wide, unsurprisingly, for 'Edge seemingly filled the small goal-frame, offering precious few gaps to aim at… 

0-0 then and the tension rose as Shirley's impotent strike force once again failed to score in the second-half. Fortunately Jamie's handling, as the ‘keeper was good and the game remained scoreless. 

Then, some 10 minutes from full-time, Lyce committed a very ugly foul and I was forced to speak to him again. I told him that one more incident would force me to have him substituted by his manager. I spoke pleasantly and appealed to his good nature to calm down. He had none… 

He retorted, “He was pushing me!”  I bellowed at him for this piece of unnecessary belligerence. The whole ground fell into an eerie silence and my daughter Lucy apparently whispered to a parent, “You can tell he's a teacher, can't you?” 

The Ravens' manager became desperate then, with remarks like, “Get in there Squirrel, you poof!” and “Don't just chuck it, you tart!” He even yelled, “If he pushes you in the area again, go down like you've been shot!” At that point, I turned to him and called, “Yes, but I know what he's going to do now, don't I?” 

Incredibly, I was criticised because the Ravens manager thought that one of our players might have been encroaching at a couple of corners, which had been subsequently blocked. 

Snide comments were aimed at my back, just loud enough for me to hear, but I stuck to my task of refereeing with good humour and fairness, through gritted teeth, until the game ended scoreless. Extra-time meant the possibility of a 'golden goal'. 

Lyce was systematically sent over to me to apologise, but I told him quite simply that if he fouled an opponent once more, there would be no substitution, for he would be sent off. 

I was severely irritated within but battled to show calm as the skippers tossed up again. Lyce won the call and elected to kick off, Shirley Town's captain, Tom decided to kick in the direction which meant that the lowering sun would be in 'Edge's eyes.

Then the Ravens' manager cut in. “I told him to kick that way!” he protested but I explained that Lyce had chosen to kick off. The guy proceeded to make such an embarrassing song and dance about the situation, that incredibly, the intimidated Tom changed his mind and decided to kick the opposite way, resulting in Jamie having the glaring sun in his eyes, as he had already endured for the second-half of the match. 

I was appalled and quizzed Tom but he shrugged that he didn't want any trouble and I adhered to his change of heart. Within three minutes, Ravens won a corner, our blocking player near the flag was inexplicably moved by our manager into the goalmouth, allowing for an easy delivery and a superb header rattled the crossbar as Jamie leapt and the rebound was scrambled into goal to give the Ravens a 'golden goal' winner. 

I was stunned and disgusted. I believe that the chap who runs the whole Chelmsley club witnessed the scenes and was very unhappy with the behaviour of the adults on the sidelines. Apologies were offered but too late. 

Ravens thus progressed to round three and Shirley Town's players left the ground feeling confused and distraught. 

Chelmsley had received Lycence to intimidate… 

The above article appeared in the Plymouth Argyle v Halifax Town game programme in January 2001, for in those days I wrote a regular piece for the Pilgrims’ match-day magazine…

Happy days…